My Art Journey

My Art Journey

Have you ever been called the art kid in your grade? Drew whenever and wherever you could? During class, lectures, on the bus or car, and even when you shouldn’t? If you have done this before, you know that inspiration can appear almost anywhere with an artist’s imagination. Art is everywhere in our lives and our minds, making us see lines and shapes in our daily scenery. Sometimes, I have caught myself staring at how light hits a stranger on the bus, moving my finger in the air to mimic drawing something in front of me.

Art was not always a part of my life. I started drawing “late” compared to my mutuals, who started almost a decade before me. I was 13 years old when I picked up a pencil with the intent to draw, and be good at it. It began with tracing anime and cartoon characters, then taking inspiration from the comics I was reading to create my own original characters. I was leaning towards the “western art style” as it was all I knew then, aside from characters I’d come across on Google.

I spent most of my high school years drawing my classmates, my teachers, and developing lore for my original characters inspired by the cartoons I watched and the comics strips I read. When I was in 9th grade, I discovered manga through a friend and got absolutely hooked! Arte, Black Butler, Blue Giant, One Punch Man——I loved these manga not only because of the story, but because of how intricate and phenomenal the art was.

I continued to draw the people around me while consuming more manga and anime. When COVID hit, my training arc began, as I was stuck at home with nothing to do.  A little before COVID, I had created an Instagram account and followed some artists I really liked. The influence of manga and anime led me to like anime-related posts and brought fanart to my feed. It seemed that with the pandemic, everyone was at home and had started to draw and post their art. I was on Instagram every day, searching for inspiration and analyzing beautiful pieces drawn by great artists.

I started drawing on my phone with an app called Sketchbook using nothing but my fingers. I had some basic understanding of anatomy and shading, but digital art was very hard for me at first. I did not understand the app’s interface nor its various options and functionalities. However, I wanted to make anime fanart like the ones I would see on social media, so I kept drawing and discovering new ways to improve.

To start my digital journey, I turned to artists Clivenzu and Meltedbuns (now known as Deariyue), who were the hit artists back in 2020 (and still are!!). I would study how they drew and painted faces. I loved their soft rendering and colors, especially how they leaned towards semi-realism without losing the anime spark. For 8 months (March 2020 to November 2020), I drew Every. Single. Day, for around 6-8 hours on my phone. Since I did not own any iPad or drawing tablet. The desire to be better kept me going——so, I improved greatly in a short time.

I graduated high school, and throughout my college years, I continued endlessly drawing to improve. In the fall of 2022, I was on a 4-month-long grayscale grind. I would pick an anime character and draw them in a semi-realistic style every day in grayscale, and then use layer modes to color. This exercise helped me  a lot with my current rendering skills, as it taught me the fundamentals. I also started posting some of my art on Instagram.

I want to achieve the semi-realism and anime style, with flowing compositions, multiple beautifully rendered elements, and intricate backgrounds. I wanted people to stop scrolling and zoom into my art as much as they could so that they could see all the effort and skill I put into drawing detailed pieces. I wanted to be a great artist, without catering to the generic anime portrait. I wished that my work would be unique enough to be recognizable. Finally, I desired acknowledgement within the artist community and praise for my artworks. These were my main art-related goals.

Everyone around me applauded me as a good artist, but seeing all the people online that struck me as “art gods” made me feel inadequate. In my head, if my friends or family saw these amazing artists, they wouldn’t think of me as great. I felt left behind due to my age and my skill. Artists the same age as me were visibly better at rendering, anatomy, and composition, as they started drawing very early in their life. I wanted to close that gap as soon as I could.

Hating on your own art is unfortunately a “canon event” every artist goes through. Comparison is the thief of joy indeed, but in order to improve at art, one has to study other artists. When I do that, I would end up comparing myself to them. I still find myself doing this nowadays, but I feel like by improving my art, I have significantly stopped self deprecating and dwelling. If you also struggle with this, check out the article “Handling Self-Doubt”; it may help you overcome this issue!

I had been trying to develop my art style, so the only artist I was truly comparing myself to was myself. Often, I would look at old pieces and see if there was any progress. If there were flaws, I would take my time to analyze them and find a way to correct them.

Back then, I wasn’t confident with my character skills, so I drew scenery landscapes, and planned compositions to hide characters. As I drew these abstract pieces for everyone to see, I practiced behind the scenes to improve on everything I was lacking in. Eventually, as I felt better about my character skills, I started incorporating them into the art pieces I posted on Instagram. People would comment under my posts and tell me how fast I was improving (compared to my last post), giving them the illusion of a magic trick.

Eventually, I realized that hating my art doesn’t help me make better pieces, but instead made me want to give up. Since I wanted to be a great artist, giving up wasn’t an option. Today, I am satisfied with my work, which is a great step forward. The “I hate my art” phase doesn’t last, trust me. Someday, you’ll become what you want to be, but just enough to say “it’s alright” when someone asks you how you feel about your work.

You may never be fully satisfied with your art, since you know deep down you can do better. There is always room for growth and improvement, no matter how old you are and what your skill level is. Never put down that pencil, since it also shapes your identity as an artist. If you’re an artist, you’re in it for life!!!